October 9, 2010

Tsunami 10, Me 0

Posted in Uncategorized tagged , at 12:08 am by letterstoelias

That’s just the score for this particular evening. . . . add up the last 17+ months and its FAR more lopsided.

There are times I marvel at my ability to maneuver through the day to day with my unwelcome sidekick known as grief.  Sometimes, the hurt is just harder to handle.

“I’m so tired but I can’t sleep
Standin’ on the edge of something much too deep
It’s funny how we feel so much but we cannot say a word
We are screaming inside, but we can’t be heard”


P.S.  I Love You



  1. Dan Cano said,

    Yeah, it’s got me beat most days as well. Even when the day seems to go by easier, or with more joy, I still have to question if it will ever rise above feeling just a bit better.

    I am sitting here in our temporary home, late at night of course, realizing how quiet our house has become. All of our stuff is nicely displayed around each room, but it all seems unlived in. Perhaps that will change when I eventually find a home to buy. Mostly it feels like we only occupy the space, rather than fully enjoy it.

    I often feel sorry for the kids, as they shouldn’t have to endure so much sorrow so early. They don’t mention their own feelings much these days, but they are very much aware of mine. Don’t you wish you could just snap out of it? I keep telling myself, Do it for the kids! Some of the time I manage well, but most of the time I feel like I continue to walk around with a cloud overhead.

    How’s that for cheering you up?

    Love ya.


  2. Boo Mayhew said,

    I loved those words C.

    And yes I’m with you and Dan. This really is relentless. I’m okay when I’m with people, but if I’m not …

    Sending you big hugs beautiful


  3. Debbie said,

    Climb into my battered, wet life raft. The tsunamis have beaten the hell out of it but it’s still floating this morning. I just hauled myself back in in the last day or so and I’m sure I’ll be swept back out to sea shortly but right now I’m here and ready to pull you in so you can catch your breath.

    Sending you a big hug and lots of love. I’m at my parents for the weekend but I’m checking email regularly so if you need someone to talk to I’m here. I can also give you a call later if you’re home. Hope today is better for you. Happy Thanksgiving. Love ya!

    • Debbie said,

      P.S. Love the picture! So sweet. And I have the Sarah McLachlan song running through my head. Beautiful, poignant song.

  4. letterstoelias said,

    Again, I’m SO late on my reply – but I love the three of you so and am so very thankful for your comments. That post was written in a particular ‘rough patch’, and though I hate that you all understand it, it really helps me to hear from you.

    Much love,

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