March 22, 2011

Bittersweet Spring

Posted in Uncategorized tagged at 12:46 am by letterstoelias

The other morning I could hear the birds singing outside my window when I woke up.  I must admit it was a welcome change from the usual – being jumped on by  a 3yr old – but I also (try to) cherish that every day when it comes.

Spring has ‘officially’ arrived now, though signs of it have been coming for a while.  I love all that spring brings to nature.  I love what those changes often bring to people as well – myself included.  But now, it’s bittersweet.

It’s coming up on 2yrs, My Love.  I can’t even begin to believe it.  In that time I’ve met some incredible people – gifts in my life that I would not have known otherwise – and March is a tough time for so many of them.  Birthdays, and days of loss for so many.  Sarah, Deb, Boo, Jackie, Matt, to name a few.  Oh, and me.

35.  You would have been – you ‘should’ be – 35 today.

I could go over all that I will miss about you not being here for it (like teasing you for being in your ‘mid-thirties’), and what we would have done were you here – but I feel like a broken record.  The list is so long and I’m weary.  But, I will still feel it.  It brings the tears as I write this.

I loved what I wrote on this day last year: https://letterstoelias.wordpress.com/2010/03/22/happy-birthday-my-love/  and still do as it’s all true.  On paper it’s more of an uplifting letter, but it too brings tears still.

We will make you waffles for breakfast.  We will have angel food cake for our angel.  I will hope that people speak of you, think of you, that I will hear your name and memories of you, that people will share with our girls what they thought of you, and that they think of you still.

I like to believe that in time it will get to a point where it will be easier to celebrate the life lived, than the life lost, but I also know that there will always be heartache that you are not here.  Always.  For now, I will leave it with a simple

Happy Birthday, My Love.

~C~

P.S.  I Love You

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2 Comments »

  1. mamabearsarah said,

    you’re on my mind and in my heart.

    xoxo
    Sarah

  2. laura beth said,

    angel food cake is so appropriate today. maybe i’ll have to go pick one up after work. so much love is being sent your way today. thinking of elias’ mom as well. happy 35th, elias.


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