July 2, 2011


Posted in Uncategorized tagged , at 9:53 pm by letterstoelias

I haven’t heard this song since ‘before’.

Before Elias died, that is.

It was hard to listen to ‘before’, but it was some comfort at the same time.  Never could a song possibly hit more close to home, seeing as it was actually written about a patient with a brain tumour (though a child, rather than an adult).

It’s It was one of his favourite bands, Our Lady Peace.  I liked them too.  I wanted to listen to a few songs tonight as it had been a while.

It had been so long that I had forgotten this particular song by title, and what the song meant.  As soon as it started playing, it came flooding back, and the tears came flooding out.  The heavy tears I’ve kept in for some time now.

It’s so much harder to hear it now.  So, very much.

Those lyrics.  (*my dear friend, Dan {and a few others} – this may be a tough one for you, you may not want to listen)

My difference from the song, was that I understood far too well what was happening.  I saw the ‘thief’ on scans, many times.  I imagined ripping it out of his head.  If only I could have.  But the thief stole him from me.   I only hope I was able to provide some courage at the side of his bed in the process.

* * * * *

A disgusting arrangement of time and the end.  We never made it ‘home again’ in the way we wanted to.  But, my Love, I was your . . . I’m here.

I wish it was more.  I only hope it was enough.


P.S.  I Love You


1 Comment »

  1. Greggies Widow said,

    Sighhhh … tears.

    You provided so much courage dear.

    Good for you for listening to the songs. I haven’t gotten to that point yet.

    ❤ you. Sending a big hug.

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