January 13, 2012


Posted in Uncategorized tagged , at 1:52 pm by letterstoelias

A number of years ago Elias and I were watching a fundraiser for cancer research on tv.  Stand Up 2 Cancer.

I’m pretty sure it was there that I heard this song for the first time.  Originally written about a break up – but this video and version of the song was done specifically for SU2C.  They wanted the video to convey the feeling of being supported by those around you, and I think they did a great job.  The people in the video were simply fans of a relatively unknown artist at the time, and I was immediately a fan of the song, and of the artist.  Elias too.

Ingrid Michaelson became a regular on our playlist.

I played one of her songs at his funeral.

I’ve posted them here before, but I don’t believe I had posted this one yet.

I was watching the video again yesterday, and it caught me in a different way.

Before I watched it from the ‘cancer’ perspective.  We were supported by people around us – friends, strangers, family, other cancer patients – all putting positive energy towards Elias’ health and survival.

After he died and the initial rush of supporters had faded (not at all long after) I was left with a few friends and family close to me helping me along the way – but I felt very much alone.  So. Very. Alone.

With some distance now I can see a bit more clearly – going from that huge sea of people to only a few, and of those almost no one knew what I was feeling – it’s no wonder I felt that way.

In time, however, I found a new community of support.  My widdas.

Who would’a thunk it?

All these other men and women who were suffering their own gut-wrenching pain, barely finding the ability to breathe, were there to support me?!  And (hopefully) I to support them?!  But somehow it works.

So, I post this today for all of those widdas (and my other friends and family) who have helped to hold me up the past (almost) three years.  Helping me know that I will Be Ok (broken parts and all).

And so will you.



P.S.  I Love You



  1. Sarah said,

    i love you! and i count you as “one of my people” that gets “it”

    • letterstoelias said,

      LOVE YOU Sarah!

  2. Jodi said,

    We love you too Chelsea!! Love to listen to your story and your new life. We are growing together. Just wished we lived closer so that we can physically help each other too!

  3. Dan said,

    Great song Chels. Yes, it’s what we all want, for ourself and for eachother, to be OK.

    Love you.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: